Without a doubt, it is my cell phone. At this point the majority of the people I know don't have my home phone number , let alone my dorm.

Unless Internet is considered an unnecessary possession, because that would be the worst to lose.

A few things that have been done lately have bothered me, and this is where I get to list them all. Since I haven't seen my boyfriend in a week to yell at him.

1. Friday night- having friends over from freshman year I can understand, but even Sam (who, btw, wasn't here your freshman year) got invited over. What about me? You should feel comfortable drinking around me by now. And if you aren't, you shouldn't be comfortable drinking when I'm not around, either.

2. Pulling out your choir music on Monday (when you skipped working on hw to eat dinner "with me" and ignored me the whole time). While it was out, I saw a piece you didn't mention to anyone- Blue Moon. YEA, that song that was yours & the ex's. I wouldn't care if you didn't hide it from me, but the fact that you went through all the other pieces of music and never said a word about that one (just kept it in the back of the stack) bothers me  because it means you're putting more emphasis on it.  And are you singing the Elephant Love Medley from Moulan Rouge with your ex or not?  Either one or both, you need to shape up. Pay attention to what you have. I didn't see you looking up Moondance...

3.  Answering the phone. You're really good about answering anything & everything from other people while I'm around (even if we're in the middle of something, I might add), yet when I call you never answer. Awesome.

4. Not showing up on Wednesday. I rearranged my schedule and canceled plans with Shannon in order to help you study because you weren't in class... and you didn't show up. You didn't even have the decency to call and say you weren't going to come. That is rude and irresponsible. 

~
This list is a chronological list, not  in order of most to least bothersome.

 Sorry for that, I needed to get that off my chest. Lucky for me, the only person that knows about my livejournal is Marie, so it isn't like I'm ranting to the whole world.

As I've previously stated, I'm a junior in college. My sister just started her freshman year & has made a lot of friends, which is awesome :-) The only thing is that the group of people that I normally hang out with are hanging out with her a lot. We're taking a trip for band and they've asked her to room with them... instead of me. It's awesome that she's getting along with them so well, but I kind of feel left out.

If success was guaranteed, I would
 Find true love
Learn latin, greek, italian, russian, french, german, spanish, chinese, japanese, korean, hebrew, ancient egyption and a few other ancient languages.
Learn to sing amazingly
Become the best flute player
Come up with a solution for world hunger
Learn ballroom dancing well
Become more self assured
Become happy
Become more athletic & flexible
See the world
Learn guitar
Make an important historical discovery

Love

I used to think I knew what love was. I recently had to work with an ex who I had dated for a year and a half...which caused a bit of a stroll down memory lane. Here's the conclusions I've drawn from it...

1. Love isn't about just one person. It's finding the person that makes you the happiest and recognizing the fact while you're still with him or her. It's accepting that people aren't going to be perfect. You have to find someone who will accept you, faults and all. You have to be able to live with them. They have an annoying habit that bothers you now? It isn't going to work out unless you have a lot of patience...and even then it's only a matter of time.  You can't change them to suit your needs. Accept them as they are and love them, faults most of all.

2. Don't take anyone for granted... There is always a limit to love. There's a fine line between love and hate, and you don't want to cross that border unless you have to.

3. Don't toy with others' affections...you don't want to mislead them. Don't daydream and think about "what-ifs"... that's neither here nor there. Things are as they are, you're only hurting the other person by supposing.

4. The most valuable thing to love is remembering the wonderful times and gracefully forgetting the difficult times. Too good of a memory can be a bad thing.

I don't know how constructive this is...but it helped clear my head, and my heart, a bit. 

I wish I was going to see Joe again. I need to learn that too good of a memory can be a bad thing...

Today at lunch my friend recounted how he called his ex-girlfriend a "cold-hearted bitch" accidentally when he meant to say "I love you, too." It made me feel a little bit better about being called the wrong name. :-)  

Wow.... what I am most neurotic about...
The options for answers:
a) being late
b) my hair, as pathetic as it sounds
c) grammar/spelling
d) band
e) planning events/having people over and making sure everything goes smoothly/ being the perfect hostess

The most stressful of these for me would be option e. Having people over and making sure everyone is having a good time is difficult for me, especially now because we see each other at home so rarely.  As Alyssa and Joe can vouch for, having too many people over at once means that after all the planning for everyone to be there, during the party I'm a recluse. I try to stay where the least amount of people are. I think that I'm neurotic about making sure everything is as well planned out as it can. I also get stressed out before solo recitals, when I'm running around putting programs by the door, collecting ticket money, and making sure the musicians know when they need to be at the door to head into the recital hall.  So perhaps it is a combination of planning/ making things run smoothly and band that make me neurotic.